I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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