so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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