I wannas sexs uuuuu
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
