I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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