I think my vagina is haunted
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
