great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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