If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
