I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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