I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize