At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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