Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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