Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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