Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
