Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I love you. Go after that dick
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize