I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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