What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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