And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
