Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
