doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
and she was petting her beer can
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
