I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
