you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
