yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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