Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
