Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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