Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
