I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
