roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
