Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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