I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
