someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
