i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
