The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
