You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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