i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
