i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
