I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
my penis made a compromise with my morals
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
