I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
we're so committed to being not committed
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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