VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
