I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
only you would photoshop your dick
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
