We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
