his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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