R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize
