The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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