my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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