Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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