oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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