Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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