Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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