come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
