btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think I am morally bankrupt
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I love you.
Bad choice
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