Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Actions speak louder than pants.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
