ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
