I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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