She is in my trunk
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
