just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
