my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
